From High Brow Pirate to Hometown Pastor

Ah marketing and models.  In my planting efforts I was having so much fun going into diners and bars and bowling alleys and street corners (literally) and getting to know people and talk to them about Jesus and LifeBridge and what church is not and what it could be and what they wanted it to be.  Then I was made (I suspect unintentionally) to feel compelled to design flyers, gather volunteers, and "canvass the neighborhood" with these four color door hangers.  I was told that this would define who in my core group meant business and who didn’t.  This would show who was willing to work for this and who was not.  So not only was it marketing, but it was some kinda weird test of dedication for my new friends.  My new friends were, like me, walking into bars and bowling alleys and diners and street corners and having the time of their lives meeting people one on one and talking about life.  When I told them about the door hanger plan, they looked at me and could not understand the logic.  I related with them and told them that this was not my idea and when they asked if it was okay if they did not take part in this because it felt commercial, I told them they did not have to. 

I went and passed out the flyers and felt dirty the whole time.  I was conflicted and this was the opposite of what was in my heart.  I was told that behind every door was a story and that story had hearts and needs and I was asked if I wanted to know that story?  Hell yes!  But I get to know that story when I meet them, not when they look at a four color graphic with a clever slogon that looks no different than any other church marketing ploy.  Not one person came in from those flyers and if any of you are reading this, I am so sorry.  I hope you at least recycled the blank side for notepaper or something.  

That same day was the day that I found out that music was not only about worship, but it was also about marketing.  See, this was a scant few weeks prior to the first service and I did not have all my ducks in a row to the satisfaction of my mentor for worship music.  I was fine with it because I knew the community that was forming and the direction we were heading.  But I was told, and I quote, "Do not underestimate the power of awkward music to drive people away from your church.  The last planter underestimated the music and he failed.  Your pulling the trigger here and you are not taking this seriously."  Oh, I WAS taking it seriously.  As far as our music, a year later I will tell you that it is okay and decent from a technical standpoint, but everyone there likes it and it is ours.  Sometimes *gasp* we do not have music.  This last week, my singer got sick and could not make rehearsal and then on Saturday, my guitarist got sick.  So we did not have any music and we still worshipped God without song, but with sincere hearts and NOT ONE PERSON MINDED!

So what do you do different?  This first year was based mostly on word of mouth only.  Our numbers started strong, around April many people left as more and more youth came in with messy lives and tripp pants and our numbers now are less than what they were that first week.  Our money is almost non existant.  What do we have?  We know who we are and what we are and we can now know WHAT we are inviting people to becuase we have an identity as opposed to a rpepackaged plan.  We will use some stickers, we will use you tube videos, we will use tools, but we will use them honestly and without "zing" and wow factors.  We will be simple and honest and the power to spread the invitation still happens on the road because someone has to hand someone a sticker, give a link, and talk about it.  But we waited a year before we even considered a sign.

During my planting internship I learned about this wild Messiah who did not play by the rules of society.  He was so counter culture that the religious elite conspired with governmental forces to kill him.  He spent his time with unsavory people and loved them without condition.  He spoke against not only the norms of government and society, but also the norms of religious thought.  This was revolution and love and messiness and poetry and wonder.  Some of my best and most formative thoughts on Jesus came in a condensed time of nine months that I will be eternally grateful for.  But then came the disconnect.  In following this wild messiah and making disciples that follow in his yoke of beautiful chaos was reduced to formulas and tests and other things that did not compute.  It reminded me of Bible College.  They (Bible College) taught me Hermeneutics-the science of interpreting the Bible.  They gave me the tools to read and interpret and understand for myself.  But when my questions got too uncomfortable or challenged assumptions they held dear, I was being misguided and somehow in error.  I used the tools too well for my own good.  Now here I am, given the gift of a wild messiah with a revolutionary message and call and as I try to walk in His yoke with the very tools of understanding given to me, I was told to ignore it temporarily for pragmatic purposes. 

This whole process of having a core was very troubling to me.  Jesus surrounded himself by the "not good enoughs" and they went out to reach the marginalized and the hurting and the ignored and the honest questioning people who were also "not good enoughs".  How could I reach out to the people who Jesus reached out to with a bunch of people who had the same ingrained bad habits I did and were as out of touch with the world as I was?  To have some of my bad habits broken, I had to go through a personal little "deprogramming" session that took many months and happened one on one.  It just seemed to make more sense to me to strike out with a bunch of people who were in the margins and fed up with churches and say,"hey! let’s chase after the kingdom together!"  So that is exactly what I did.  My planter support group was not offering me core volunteers and yet I had to find them.  So I got them from bars and blogs and bowling alleys and was very careful (though honest) about what I said about my "core".  My core also had some seasoned vets of the faith who are very good people with genuine hearts.  But ya know what?  None of those people are here anymore.  There was not enough offered for them and they needed to be "fed" and they went on to places that could better offer them what they were looking for.  I bear them no ill will and knew from day one that this was not what they were ready for and what they needed.  I tried to tell them what we were chasing as honestly as I could.  

Over the last year since our "launch", the true core I knew was out there developed.  Most of the pre start faces are seen no more and a new batch of people have emerged.  They are honest, raw, rough around the edges, and are beautiful.  They have taken early steps into discipleship and mission without knowing the words for it and they are trying to get others to walk in this journey with them without knowing the subculture and the Christian folkways and mores.  They do not have money, they do not have power, most of them are under 25, and their lives are messy…but they know what is important and they get the core aspects of this journey (the kingdom of God, mission, and the great commission to name a few) more than most Christians I know who have been in the individualistically based faith subculture for years and years.  

As opposed to having a seasoned core that would then decide what others needed and and formulating an offering for them, we spent this year letting the wheat and the chaff sift itself out and becoming a community with a small group of people who know what they identity IS as opposed to what we hope it to be.  They are now ready to invite others into this journey with them.   I went to the beach and asked some people to drop their net and take a journey with me as opposed to the synagogue.  The beaches and the bars and the streets are where we find the people of the beatitudes, also known as the salt of the earth. 

I think that anyone who has read this blog a few times can guess that I am not too hip on the takeover of business in the church.  I think this is especially prevalent in the church planting racket.  We have developed management training, marketing arks, business strategies and whole bunch of other stuff based on corporate America.  As I have said many a time, if imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, then the church is proving itself to be very enamored by corporate America.  Hell, we kiss corporate America’s ass and have made marketing and strategic planning our idols.  The funny part is, our current economy, the recent Wall Street Crash, the housing crisis, and the over ten percent unemployment figures should tell us that the emporor of consumerism and business strategy has no clothes.  But here we are, using a failed tools, tests, and methods and assigning God to them. 

Though my first beef is not closely related to business strategy, it is related.  In starting churches it is standard practice to have a core group.  As an emerging missional guy, this is a hard one to swallow.  The need for "mature" christians to sit in a room and plot and plan how we are going to bring in and attract real people who are outside the church.  The problem is, that the "converted" know how to reach the other "converted" and you often end up with consumer Christians looking for the latest music, kids programs, and other stuff that does not matter.  Well, it does not matter to those outside the church, but it matters for the consumer Christian.  The problem is that you end up being beholden to these people and you end up performing so much maintenance to keep them happy that you never really do get to fulfilling the mission.  Let me give you an example.  I was once talking to a planter who was getting ready to start a church in a city with needs.  This city has two sides to it.  One side is affluent and the other side is poor.  He claims to be missional, and when he talks about the city’s needs he always talks about the poor side.  So, I asked him, why start on the affluent side when the need is on the poor side?  He said he would leverage the affluence of the rich side to one day make a greater impact on the side with immediate need.  Do you kind of see my problem?  How many years will this take and how many people will he have to appease while people lose homes, live in fear of violence and street gangs, and suffer abuse and marginalization?  What of the needs of the wealthy side?  Rich people have hurts too.  He will spend so much time administering to them with his sensitive and caring nature that he will only have token efforts to the hurting that serve mainly to make the wealthy feel good.  It is backwards…people like Shane Claiborn and  Mother Teresa just go to where the need they claim to have a heart for and do it with what little you have and let God guide the way. 

Now, I realized I strayed, but I just thought of an analogy with my problem of the core group stuff. Imagine Jesus, instead of grabbing his motley crew of fishermen, women, tax collectors, and so forth to change the world and start this movement, he had gone with the core group principle.  He would have to take some mature Jews who know the law…so….maybe a core group of Pharisees and Sadducees.  They would all then sit in regularly scheduled meetings and discuss rationally how they are going to reach the hookers, the centurions, the lepers, and all the rest of the people that they have proved themselves to be painfully out of touch with.  They would also need to work on fund raising, financial viabilities, find some space to rent, and create an awareness marketing campaign.  Then, and only then, would they be ready for a first service and invite everyone-who already does not trust them-to come and see this wonderful new event.

Now that we are almost a year old and it is evident that I have nothing to lose since no one is offering us anything and we are bastard children not getting child support, I may as well discuss openly what I think is a different, and valid way to try things. What I am about to suggest in my next entry is not a better way per se, but it is a different way.  When you hear me speak against different mindsets, please understand that I am not speaking AGAINST anyone or trying to vilify, I am trying to grow out of that.  I am expressing some frustration that I never had the opportunity to be openly different and instead had to test the waters and strike out on my own in what has proved to be a very lonely journey.  Mostly, I am expressing facts as seen through the lense of my existence.  Try not to hold it against me.  There will be a part two to this coming along shortly, I just did not want to make this entry too long. 

One night in late 2006, I could not sleep. I was flipping through the channels and rested on the Sundance channel.  They were airing a mini series documentary called "One Punk Under God".

For those who don’t know, OPUG is the story of Jay Bakker (son of Jim Bakker and Tammie Faye-RIP).  In the episodes you see the path of his church in Atlanta (Revolution Church) that met in a bar to start another Revolution  in NYC while passing the torch of Revolution Atlanta to a dear friend, and mentor, Stu.  There is a lot more to the story and it is definitely worth checking out on Sundance or putting on your Netflix wish list. 

I knew none of this as I started watching halfway through an episode.  All I knew was this guy named Jay was running a church out of a bar.  He had tats, smoked cigars, had earrings, a wife who was refreshingly NOT a typical pastor’s wife, and real people with real hurts in his church being reached with a message of grace and love.  I was captured and, though suffering from some culture shock, I was seeing many aspects of what Christianity could be and should be.  Towards the end of this episode I realized who he was.  HOLY #^#%!!!  The Bakker kid is a preacher and doing some really cool things in a bar?!?!?!  I put the show on my Tivo favorites and started stepping into the world of Revolution and the life of Jay and company.  

Though I do not agree with Jay point for point on everything, I am hip to the core of his idea.  In one episode, I saw Jay Bakker’s biz manager guy, Marc Brown modding a forum.  This was too good an opportunity.  I could meet other people intrigued by the show, the church, and the message.  I logged on and started a life changing experience. 

I found the web forum at http://board.revolutionchurch.com to be difficult.  There was a clash of cultures going on.  There were people who were members of Revolution church, people impacted by the show, and others who were there to be antagonistic and represent the worse stereotypes that right wing evangelical Christianity has to offer.  Then you had some people who were just jerks.  There was also a matter of SPAM.  There were porn posts and other disruptive spam that was literally happening in excess of 40 posts per day.

 Something tugged at my heart.  The show had impacted me and I wanted so much to interact with these people, but the forum was a mess.  I logged off after a few days of checking it out…and then I prayed.  At this point in my life…I really did not pray a lot.  The next day, feeling pretty stupid.  I sent a private message to Marc Brown of Revolution.  I introduced myself…told him a little of my IT and forum moderation experience and offered to assist with removal of the spam.  He did not know me from Adam, but he gave me what is called moderator permissions which allows me to delete and adjust posts.

In many ways I felt I had my finger in the dam trying to stem the flood of spam.  I would spend hours upon hours removing spam, tracking IP’s of spammers, and reporting tracked IP’s to Marc and the ISP’s and hosting services of the spammers.  I did this just to have brief opportunities to make friends with the people in the forums.  Share with them, debate with them…and mostly to learn from them.  The more I grew to love these people and appreciate the friendships, the more driven I was to clean up the spam permanently.  

 
In short time, two other members of the forum joined forces with me to aid in the spam clean up.  Then came the day the direction changed.  On the tv show, Jay Bakker decided that it was time for his church to publically recognize the gay Christian community.  Agree or disagree is not the point of this entry.  The point is that a move like that on national television is going to draw attention.  Most people on the forums entered the discussion about this move politely and with respect.  However, a vocal minority really did their best to create division in the community.  There was one person who is prominant figure in the anti gay community in southern california.  He has even been featured on more than one occasion on the 700 Club.  He was kinda a big deal in some circles.  He was not only abusive to a gay member in the forums, but revealed personal contact information about this person in the forums.  Phone number, personal email, etc.  I could not ignore this.  I removed the information immediately, instructed him not to do this again and told Marc what had happened.  I also advised Marc that anyone who does this needs to be removed.  They are putting that person at risk for harassment and possible harm.  Marc agreed and gave the person an opportunity to apologize.  The person refused.  

After that incident, someone in the forums sent me a link to a gay news blog in which Marc Brown and I were hailed as heroes for shutting this person down.  I was amused.  However, now came the follow up.  Over the following weeks several members were sending me private messages telling me about people who were hurting them in the forums.  Personal attacks, threats.  Just really bad stuff. 

I could not ignore the cry of the hurting.  Jay and his staff put their careers on the line for principle.  I decided to to stand for principle and take some heat.  I reported people who were repetitively hurtful to Marc and he had to do something he did not like doing…remove people from the forums.  In this time I learned some lessons.  In some cases I did not do enough, in other cases I took "enforcement" to far.  During this time, there were many who got so upset and left.  I did the best I could and I prayed all the time.  I have faced some harsh criticism and received some wonderful accolade for the help I have given.  I miss some of the people there and I hope to see them return now that the hoopla has receded.  We are slowly getting some wonderful new people on the forum and it is so refreshing to see.

What is this story about?  Well, it is about being challenged, changed, hearing God’s call, and knowing you are doing God’s will.  However, even when doing God’s will, you will make errors.  Sometimes you will do everything right and STILL get crap and BS accusations leveled at you.  You do the best you can.  You try to make right what you screwed up, and you keep on moving forward.  

The friends I made there mean more to me than any forum I have ever been a part of.  We have shared joys, sorrows, prayer requests, fears, joys, secrets, and our hearts.  We continue to do so.  Some of these friends I have spoken with on the phone and others I will be meeting soon.   The friends I have made there have supported me, encouraged me, challenged me, and changed me.

I lot of what you will see one day on a pew and in ministry action is from lessons and inspirations seeped in my lessons of the Revolution forums and a documentary.   

In  Assignment to Calling I spoke of the Leadership assignment leading to the first draft of what is going to be a living and breathing ministry.  When I was done with it, I showed it to a friend of mine named Fran.  Fran and I were freshmen at Bible College together. He was older than me (still is), married, and had 2 kids.  He also had already worked in the ministry.  He and I became fast friends.  After Bible College he did start a church in 1994 and I stayed with him on the project from day 1 until 1998.  My leaving was not pretty and it put a strain on our friendship.  We would talk awkwardly once every other year or so.  2007 was a verbose year.  We had lunch together twice and exchange 3 emails.  Some of them exceeded a paragraph. 

Well, after I put this together, it just felt right to talk to him.  So I did.  I showed it to him over lunch.  He told me his church has a planting team and he thought it would be fun if we did a q&a time.  Hey!  Why not?  I show them my plan, they ask questions.  We have an intellectually stimulating time.

It was a good time.  What I did not realize was that this would be the first step into building what will be an essential relationship.  Fran’s church is not your typical church.  If most churches closed down, other than a few parishioners, no one would notice.  They help run a food pantry for the poor, they are helping Haiti one village at a time, they sometimes have special offerings to pay someone’s mortgage.  They are here to make an impact on people’s lives because they care, not to fulfill a religious obligation or to hook people into the church. 

This first step has given me (though I have not really said it in so many words) a mentor and his church has given me an example and a group of friends.  Our visions are so close it is spooky and it is my belief that God put us in our paths at this time for a reason.  I think they feel the same way.  Not sure.  All I know is I have appreciated their time and support so far…and as an individual…if not for Fran, I would have packed this in and given up to be a waiter at Denny’s writing this experience off as a fantasy from a man who had a heart attack seeking an epiphany in a void of meaningless quests.  

Having friends, partners, and advisors is essential and it is not something a lot of people get in journeys such as these.  I am grateful for what they have done and will do and I have no idea what that is.  I am not really asking for anything, so anything really rocks!! 

As I have said, there are two people who were instrumental in my recovery and my life.  One of them is named Dennis.  Dennis is a priest.  He went on a sabbatical after 20 years as a priest.  He got a nice apartment, nice job, and has found himself to be pretty miserable away from the priesthood. 

 He and I have compared notes.  At almost simultaneous moments we began to both realize that we were called into the ministry.  Let’s be honest, we always knew, but neither one of us really wanted to embrace or accept it.  See, there are many who are called who get burnt out and stop caring.  Then you have men like Dennis and I.  Part of our problem stems from the loneliness inherent in the calling and the lack of people in our respected peer groups who see things the way we do. 

 Mixed emotions are shared.  Like Moses standing in front of the burning bush…two men sat over mojitos one night and made the same request.  "Why can’t he pick someone else?"  This is hard to explain.  Most people search for meaning and purpose in their lives, to be called by God to represent Him is exciting…but at the same time, it is scary.  Let me give you an example.  When I stand at an alter or council someone, I am telling them what God’s will is in general terms and sometimes…specific to their lives and their situation.  If I am wrong….I have sent someone down a horrible path.  If I am wrong and I am using God’s name…God may take issue with that.  It is a heavy responsibility.  

 Both of us have accepted our roads and we know what we need to do.  He returns this summer as a priest and I return this fall as a pastor.  I suspect our roads crossed so we could run parallel for a few decades.  We shall see.  All I know is this…without the blatent honesty we can share, I think we would both be less comfortable with our paths.

Summer of 2007 would become Fall of 2007.  In Fall of 2007 my Monday’s would become dedicated to teaching an Intro to Computers course at Christian Life College and being a student in a Spiritual Leadership course.

Over the course of the semester I would learn things as a student and a teacher.

First is the teaching dynamic.  Most of the students are there to become ministers or missionaries of one form or another.  I could not help but be impressed with the caliber of their character, the optimism of youth, and the wisdom of the older adult learners.  Some of this has come from them and other aspects are reflections of the quality of the education they are receiving.  I would feel called to be a part of their lives beyond the classroom.  As I learned a bit of each individual I would see them as part of my life and their hopes and dreams and fears and failings would be a part of my life.

Now, as to the student.  I had President Harry Schmidt as my instructor.  I had him as my teacher for two or three classes when I was a younger man and I had not realized what an amazing orator he was.  Every word was like a feast of concepts and wisdom.  I learned so much more than I could have ever thought possible.  

We had a final presentation we had to do as opposed to a final exam.  The presentation had to be a leadership model for a Christian Ministry either real or imagined.  Where I saw some students taking on grandiose projects, I wanted to do a simple church in my hometown.  Over the course of the semester I would work on this project.  First it was casual dabbling…then, something started to grow inside me.  I found myself praying over this project and taking to heart.  I began to realize I was drawing the first draft to a church that was not an assignment, but a reality.  I found my heart changing and softening to the ministry once again.  I began to realize that in my life, nothing I have done vocationally has satisfied the way touching people’s lives did.  This was no longer how to lead, this was how to serve.  How to serve God, my community, and the lives of people who are hurting.

When I gave my presentation, it was emotional.  The man who has spoken in front of thousands and at national conventions trembled with humility in a room full of 12. I laid it all out there for them.  The heart for the single mom, the hurt, the wounded, the lonely, the restoration plan, the bridge building.  In later entries we will go into more detail of the bricks and mortar of the church, but this is where it begins.  

Students were awestruck with the heart.  One has even said she wants to take part in it as an intern..and possibly more.  Pastor Harry would be very complimentary and genuine to it.  

The students and the teacher were the very first step of confirming that this is real and this is where God wanted me to be.  More steps would follow and with each step there is further confirmation.  

Let me make one thing clear about this calling.  It is not a cloud parting burning bush sort of thing.  This is a quiet whisper through confirming desires with validations and opening doors.

My path to CLC was unique and not something I could have scripted.  It was 16 years in the making.  The timing of my humbling and stripping down through the heart attack shortly before returning could not have been scripted.  The road to Lockport leading me to a teen outreach called open door coffeehouse and Sharon and so many others there would put me back into ministry as a servant and not a leader (to be discussed more later) was amazing.  The rebuilding of my friendship with a Pastor named Fran and the door that opened there to make this idea a reality is one I could not have planned.  As we swiftly catch up on the history, each chapter will be another door, this was merely one of the first.

As of June 2007, life was pretty stressful.  I was the special effects coordinator for a musical, my daughter was in the final weeks towards her dance recital, business was not going well, my love life was not all it could have been, and so forth.  I had met with Wayne at Christian Life College.  Wayne is the administrative Dean.  He was the registrar when I was a student there in 1990.  He is a good man.  Deep voice, large vocabulary, deep thinker. He had offered me the position to teach computers there and I would have the opportunity to take courses for free to complete my pastoral studies.  I saw this as a an opportunity to build more computer street cred and an opportunity for a degree, nothing more. 

 The month of June was progressing stressfully.  I am sure there were good things in my life, but I was not able to see them.  Now we come to the night of June 28 and the morning of June 29.  I was impossibly behind schedule on a writing project that needed to be turned in by noon of the 29th and my daughter had to be ready for her recital in which I was dancing in two numbers and had to play the part of the proud parent.

I worked through the night and into the wee hours of the morning.  I had made little progress.  I was 15% where I needed to be.  I was in an impossible situation that I had put myself into by overcommitment.  It was sometime between 3 or 4 am that I decided to take a nap with this failure heavy on my mind.  

I woke up at 7am feeling like a midget was on my chest.  I took a shower.  The midget now felt like a Sumo wrestler.  I went downstairs.  Had coffee and a cigarette in a final irony to relax.  Finally, I went to go outside and as I reached for the front door, my right arm went numb and my jaw clenched.  I knew I was having a heart attack and really did not want to accept it.  Well, fast forward through ambulance, paramedics, nitroglycerin, hospital, stabilization, angio-gram, and old men playing shuffleboard outside my room.  The thing that amazed me was all the people who did NOT visit me in the hospital.  Jen brought my daughter, Kate brought her daughter, Pastor Rob brought his wife.  A few people called.

 The throngs of people that I was busting my ass to help were not there for me while I was in the hospital and they were not there for me the horrific 30 days I was home from the hospital.   The 30 days home from the hospital.  I was depressed, questioning myself, doubling myself, Jen was more mad at me than relieved I was alive, I was on medication that gave me the most exquisite 30 day headache.  Todd, an old friend and business associate at the time showed friendship through a wonderful gesture.  The theater group. "Glad to see you back, now get back to work".  I saw a woman in the show sprained her ankle and people wept for her and when she returned the next day, the director had the entire crew give her a standing O.  I was in the ICU tasting mortality and still in the danger zone. I began to feel really insignificant, ignored, and an overall useless piece of goo.

My world had been turned upside down.  The people who I assumed would be there for me were nowhere to be seen.  One of them even told me the reason she could not be there for me was because I was friends with someone she did not like. In this time, I almost missed something that would slowly affect my life and perspective for the better. While lamenting what I did not have, I almost did not notice two people standing on the sidelines trying to breach through the despair.

 I sent an email out to 30 friends towards the end of July.  I laid it all on the line.  I was lonely, scared, felt worthless, and did not know what to do with the rest of my life.  Two people responded.  Out of the 30, two pierced the darkness and said they would be there for me.  Dana and Dennis.  I almost ignored them because they were not the ones I wanted to be there.  After another night of waiting, I would contact them both.  My relationship with both these people would change dramatically. 

 This entry is already becoming more personal than I intended and I have tried to cut a new draft a few times, but I cannot get away from this one as is.  So I will continue.

Dana and Dennis.  I am beholden to both of these people for what they have done in my life.  To be frank, much of the content of our conversations are too personal for me to share.  Allow me to encapsulate what their presence had done.

Dennis was a priest on sabbatical.  He was working in HR for a company.  After more than 20 years as a priest he was burned out on Parish life and questioning his role in all of it.  He and I would learn how similar our paths are and be able to honestly delve into what the calling is, what it means, and what about it frightens us and angers us. We both embrace and fear it at the same time.

Dana would expose me to new worlds in Lockport and help me find a belief in myself and a worth.  

I know this is very vague, but again, I have shared with these two things I would not share with anyone else.  As unconventional as both friendships are and as different as the roles are in the dynamics of each relationship, they would serve as catalysts for me to recover a piece of me that I thought had died.   

Some people go through life knowing what they have to do and others have to go through a refining fire where all impurities are burned away.  I fell into the latter.  To begin to rely on God I had to have everything stripped away that I thought was important.  When the entire construct was destroyed, I was able to look at the foundation and see what it was made of. 

Welcome.  Let’s get to the point.  This is blog is going to be my personal journey of leaving my career as a computer consultant/freelance writer and entering the ministry. Not only am I becoming a minister, but I am in the process of starting a new church. 

So who is this blog for? I have some friends and relatives that like to keep tabs on me and tend to ask me the same questions regarding this new adventure.  This saves me a lot of time.  People who are contemplating a life of ministry may benefit from this as well.  I have found people who are young and old that think about this road and calling.  It is romanticized and vilified.  I am not trying to impress anyone, I will give this journey a raw and vulnerable perspective and allow the reader to discern.  Another category are those who are either contemplating a church plant or merely curious about how one goes about planting a church.  This could be a resource that they can add.  

The conventions are more of an explanation of the categories.  History will be a backstory.  Sometimes the backstory may seem unrelated, but I am sure the 40 years Moses spent in Midian had relevance to who he was during the Exodus. Lessons will cover the path to ministry and the lessons I learn..or need to learn to become an effective minister.  Planting Process will be related to things needed to plant a church.  Bumps and Potholes.  Along the way there will be setbacks, frustrations, mistakes, and days I may want to give all this up and be a waiter at a diner.  Those will need their own category.

 I chose the categories to allow people the freedom to focus their readings on what is important to them.  I hope everyone would take the time to read the whole.  I firmly believe that it would be beneficial. 

 A more exhaustive backstory will be written in later entries.  For now, this is the brief version. In 1990, I attended Bible College with the intent to be a minister.  I quit 2 years later.  Despite ending my studies I would go on to work in the ministry.  I would get married and in 1996, leave the ministry.  During that time I became a father, stopped going to church, resumed church attendance, struggled with my faith, started my own company, survived a heart attack, have recently returned to the Bible college I left, closed my computer consulting operation, and have come full circle to begin a new journey.  This summer I will don the cap and gown, get ordained, and get ready to have a new church in town by Fall.  Care to know how this will happen?  So do I.