From High Brow Pirate to Hometown Pastor

I will make this brief, because the end is more important than the content.

It was a good first day. I am not sure how to describe it, other than to say that it was a good setting of the stage. We are doing this in two parts. Today’s part was about setting the hearts and the spirits to be in the right attitude before we open up Bibles. Sometimes, you need a primer of being Christ like before you open the book.

I started out by talking about the great chasm that exists between Christians and the GLBT community. I then talked about, and apologized for my own prejudices and asked forgiveness for not being more Christ like in my life. I shared some of the content on some discussions I had with gay and straight Christians, told my story of starting out in evangelical conservative land that was opposed to gays and then the evolution of seeing One Punk Under God and then getting to meet gay people who are believers. After that, I went into the tough questions and refused to answer them with closed answers, rather I elevated the conversation. (SHORT VERSION: Is being gay a sin? According to Romans and James we are all sinners and we are all in the same boat, gay or straight. This is not about sinlessness, but a one on one relationship with God and being a part of a community. I will be judged with the same measure I judge others and considering how I have treated gays in my Bible thumping years as a homophobe, I have some things to answer too. ) In other words, I answered the questions that need to be answered and for now, put the other issues to the side. Chose to elevate the conversation. Then I talked about how we can build the bridge. Next week, we are talking the "big five" verses and looking at them from the conventional side, the gay affirming side, and the third option…how to look at the bigger picture and elevate the convo. Everyone has been given the verses and challenged to google them and look at them from both sides and help me find the third side. It was a good start.

So this is where the rubber met the road and I knew we made progress. First of all, we rarely get new visitors. Today we had 4. One of them had no idea who we were or what we were or what the topic was. The person is bi and currently goes to a church she does not feel comfortable in or feel she can be open, but here she is, day one in the doors, comfortable to tell me where she is in life. Further, two other younger congregates who have been with us almost from the beginning, not only told me they were GLBT, but also a couple. I’ve known them for over a year and I never knew and it never would have mattered, but today, they felt safe enough with me to tell me. This is the beginning of something good.

YASO’s future is always uncertain due to a lack of resources and funding, but for as long as we are together, it is something lovely and beautiful.  These young adults speaking out never cease to amaze me, touch me, enrich me and teach me. As a church, we have not "planted" or "seeded" other churches, but YASO being what it is has a child and has another one on the way. The first child is beer and life which was given birth two last tuesday and talked about already in another blog entry.

There is another ministry that I will talk about with permission from the pastor when I get (if I get it). This pastor lives in the north burbs and has been following YASO and wants to start her own version of it in her hometown with her children working with her. It is not going to be a clone or the formation of a new model, but what will happen is she will sit in a room of teens and young adults and say,"Hey, here is what I see and hope for, now you tell me what you want this to look and feel like." Together, they will form it and make it and own it.  This is not about us and how great we are, but it is really neat to see a good idea spread to other communities. 

I feel like I made a blogging blunder.  Actually, I made a few blogging blunders.

The first blunder was not keeping it up regularly.  Sorry about that.

The second was the confusing switch to http://piratepastor.wordpress.com.  It was one of those things that seeemed like a good idea from some strange esoteric point of view, but was really rather silly.  People got used to coming here and I enjoyed the conversations.  I miss the conversations and I do not know if they will ever return to the level they once were, but I hope we get to see reflections of that honesty.

In my next blog I will touch on that and what may or may not have happened to my own vulnerability.

Anyway, if you read what I say, read it here, this will be the only place from now on….honest.

So what is Beer and Life?  Beer and Life is kinda like YASO, but for people in their 20’s.  It started by a young man named Chris coming to me after YASO one night and telling me he wanted something with topics more geared to his place in life and his station.  I thought the idea had merit, talked to some of the other 20 somethings in YASO and beer and life was born (or b&l).  The following is a description of the first beer and life and the events the proceeded it. 

In attendance at beer and life, not including me and Tony, were eight college aged people.  We started off by serving up some drinks and applauding Kris when she came in.  Kris used to be my church intern and she said some amazing things on facebook when I was attacked by another pastor and we decided to read aloud her stand.  Here is the facebook transcript.

Jay (the other pastor said)
And you believe you need to include beer at a bible study because…… ??????

I said:
Do not need to have it per se, but I am also not of the opinion that consumption of alcohol is sinful, the addiction or getting drunk is. End of the day, we have 8 precious people coming tonight to figure out what this is gonna look and feel like. I was at a pastors conference last september and the most amazing part of the night was when me and … Read Morethree other pastors, a pastors wife, and an intern sat in the hotel lobby area over a 12 pack of wheat beer and we talked till three am about our churches, our ministries, and our thoughts on the evening. There were tears, there was intimacy, and there was God in our midst. The beer did not make that happen, but neither did it detract from the moment. Before you think we were on solomon’s porch, it was a conference with some Churches of God people and some A of G (they did not have any beer) and some non denom folks.

Jay said: 
Slippery slope Pat, at the end of the day the scripture is more then enough. Paul said he would not do anything that could cause a brother to stumble, if someone is struggling with alcohol and sees his "pastor" drinking it is easy for him to justify his own drinking. I have dealt with this issue on so many levels, the end result will be death, regardless of how things seem to be "working" now. (pragmatism) the sin of the American church.

I said:
It ain’t pragmatism or marketing or finding what "works" or "sells" that I am reaching for. Anyone who has spent any time with me knows that is so not what we are chasing as a community. Attractional, consumeristic, etc is not my bag of ice. However, I appreciate your concern (though the motives you ascribe to me are a tad off) and it is duly noted. Be well, my friend. Even though we disagree on this issue, I still love ya.

Then Kris said:
Pragmatism is not the sin of the American church. Self-righteous prick-ism is. Guarantee, most kids who are coming tonight wouldn step foot into a conventional church cause they can smell that crap a mile away; yet, they’re willing to come lay their junk out on the table among friends, who, obviously, all have their own issues, but who also have a strong enough relationship with God to care enough to sincerely listen and share the pain… weird. Pretty sure Jesus would be down w/ that. Certainly, not down with this comment, because it’s mean and offensive, and not from the Holy Spirit, but, down with people being there for one another in practical ways in rough times. I’m not gonna flat out say that scripture is NOT more than enough… but caring, listening friends and a community who’s willing to actually DO something tangible to help people out of their crap in this life, instead of judge them for it or just sit and fart around their own pretty little Bible-study walls (that they’re surrounding community of hurting people would never visit on their own), certainly doesn’t hurt. With a lot of these people, struggling with alcoholism (or the fear of becoming an alcoholic) is not the most important factor in this equation – finding a reason to get out of bed in the morning is, and being alone is.  Screw the beer – people can drink Kool-Aid if they want, and, if it becomes a problem, we’ll ex-nay the booze. Tonight is about bringing people together, making new friendships, and being there for one another. And if God just happens to join the party, which, He is bound to do, since, that’s pretty much His deal… then great. We’ll let Him judge us for being sloshed out booze-hounds. Maybe a brother should stumble every once in awhile – would sure make him look more approachable to the real world out there…maybe even shake his own brain enough to reach out the shit-faced ones instead of beating them down for having a problem. Death is what happens when the church is too busy “avoiding the appearance of evil,” to bother sitting down in a bar with the broken-hearted. Though, granted…… to each his own. God uses the evangelicals, as well as boozers, and it’s my bad for not being able to get along with the other side – God’s still working on that with me… obviously, and I’m sorry for being a prick myself. Someday we’ll work as a team instead of going at one another’s throats. If you wanna sit an chat, lemmie know. I’m sure Pat would be more than happy to make the appointment. I’ll listen better face to face, and promise to not swear.

Kris set the tone for what the night was supposed to be about. 

The first thing we did was go around the room and ask them what topics mattered to them.  Sex, money, and addiction were the big three.  I then asked everyone to tell me what they thought of Jesus and what they thought about Christians.  Most of them like Jesus but do nto think too well about Christians.  I then told them about me and how I see Jesus and the Christian I used to be and the Christ follower I am.  I then told them that I will not shove my Jesus down their throats, but that my perspective colors my views and that I love them all, but will not judge them or coerce them.  I then asked if they trust me enough to continue this conversation.  Two of them said they do not trust me yet, but this was also the first time they ever met me.  It would take time.  That was fair.

Then we talked about sex.  One of the girls is a virgin and is frustrated about sex, a boy is a bit of a man whore and feels empty about it.  Everyone else fell in the middle and we talked about the emotions and how love makes all the difference in the world and changes the experience from an animalistic act to making love.  Making love is fulfilling and sex is empty.  Thinking you are making love while the other person is only having sex hurts with a pain that is far worse than any of the ladies can describe.  I also asked how many people have lied to someone to get laid.  EVERY guys hand went up and none of the ladies did.  That shocked everyone and we talked about it and the hurt it causes.  It was sobering. 

We then talked about when to have the next meeting (Oct 20th) and then we talked about what we are going to talk about next time.  Next time is addiction and money.  We also went around the room and asked what they liked or did not like about the evening.  They liked the honesty and the ability to talk about this stuff and they did not like the lack of focus and felt we were too much on the surface.  I agreed on the lack of focus and told them that they need to cut some slack on the surface convo, it was the first meeting and everyone is unsure what to expect and it takes time to trust.  Then, we all went on our merry ways.

And that, was our first Beer and Life.