From High Brow Pirate to Hometown Pastor

YASO is one of those exciting things I have not been talking about, but I should have been.  It pretty much found it’s humble birth at the beginning of the new year.  It was an idea that has been rumbling around in my head and heart since I started volunteering at Coffeehouse.  For those of you who are new to the blog, ***Background Alert***Coffeehouse is a youth out reach I volunteer at.  The point of Coffeehouse is to give kids a chance to have fun on a Friday night without drugs, sex, beer or danger.  It is a different theme every week.  One Friday it is karaoke, the next dance night, the next open mic, then local band concert night.    We meet on the same space they do and the space (and coffeehouse) are owned by the First Congregational Church of Lockport.***End Background Alert***  The idea was to simply dig deeper into the lives of these teens and young adults and get them to talk and get them to act.  I have told a few people in leadership at the Coffeehouse that I think there is a lot more to these "kids" than meets the eye.  Something that we can learn a lesson from and grow from and the community could be enriched by.  Some agreed and the Coffeehouse actually used to intermingle some ministry into the formula, but nothing in the coffeehouse really changed.  Now, understand, I am NOT slamming coffeehouse.  Their mission is fulfilled every week when kids come.  The kids have something to do of Fridays in a safe environment. 

I thought about it and prayed about it and wrestled with it and I finally told some of the younger people in my circle about the core of my idea and asked them to give it a name, a symbol, and then we  invite some of the coffeehouse kids to sit in a room while I pitch the vision and let them tell me what they do and do not like.  It needs to be theirs and they need to help me form it.  The name was chosen by Dana who decreed it YASO (to speak out and it is also an acronym for Young Adults Speaking Out). The first meeting was a chilly Friday night in January. 

The first part was the Thursday night meeting with some of the youg adult volunteers who wanted to help. This one was fun but it gave us as leaders and volunteers a chance to get to the core of things. The fun part was I was surrounded my a group of people who were just as irreverent as I am. We compared this vision to Fight Club and Vegas and Avenue Q and Jesus all rolled up together.

On a serious vein we talked about the hindrances some may be having about coming. It came down to two things…trust and knowing that this is not coffeehouse. The trust thing comes in time. Coffeehouse is for fun, but the kids feel the rules are too restrictive to allow them to be themselves, they perceive there to be an inner circle, and there is a double standard and trust there has been violated by others. The irony here is that the Coffeehouse has been my bridge to their trust and it was also the thing I had to distance myself from in 24 hours. But we also needed to make sure we did it in a positive way as opposed to a negative fashion because to discourage them from cofffeehouse would be wrong.

Then we talked about the order. Our proposal was chilling for about half an hour with pizza and pop, do the talk, end with my Christian perspective, then close and offer those who want to stay and talk or pray the opportunity. For this first one though…we just tell them all this and get their feedback.

Then we closed with discussion on how many pizzas to buy. I said ten, Dana said five….I bought 6.

The second part was the meeting itself. I ordered the pizzas, set up 2 tables, and then moved chairs around the tables. 3 of the young adults who offered to help showed up and one of them (Dana)  simply said, “this is not what I pictured.” So I told her to set it up however she wanted to, grabbed one of the other people with her and went to pick up the pizzas. When we came back, the large tables were gone and replaced with a big ol circle of chairs and some small card tables surrounding the circle. 7 PM hit and we had maybe 6 kids and I am cool….7:15 hits and we are more than 20. Twice during the evening we had to break out more chairs to expand the circle.

I opened up first telling them about me and my suffering abuse as a child and my perspective as a parent who does not hit. Some of the other adults shared as well. This was the first salvo. We cannot have them trust us if we do not show some vulnerability. We opened it up for discussion in the circle. They do not want to discuss porn…cool. They fear the day when trust gets broken. I told them that I cannot promise it would never get broken, but in the meantime, let’s build as strong a community as possible until that dark day comes so we can weather the storm. Then came the close at about 8:30 for this first one and not one person left until ten. There was laughter, misty eyes, and many other things. In essence there was sharing and bonding in a palatable honesty. No one has a crystal ball, but the beginning looks promising.

Third part. A troubled young man with a reputation walking up the path. I saw him in the distance and I thought…nah, couldn’t be him…then others looked and there was a silence. Some kids left and two remained to greet him in the parking lot. He was hugged and brought in to the room with me and a pastor buddy. I won’t disclose what was said in the room. But it was intimate, honest, and gut wrenching. The next day, his mother put him in an institution for rehab. She was there with his pastor and his friends to hold the hand of a young and angry and scared young man. 

Final part for this first installment.  The kids, while sitting in the circle that first night on the ninth of Jan told me that they not only wanted the help of YASO, but they wanted to be an integral part of the solution.  They wanted to not just have the over 30 crowd talk to the kids, but the under 30 crowd as well.  Them.  Peers talking to peers and changing each others lives with the simple act of listening, loving, and breaching the lonelyness that pervades all our lives and makes us feel isolated and disconnected.  When I asked how many really felt this way…16 raised their hands.  I was moved and I was touched and an idea was starting to take form and shape and be put into practice.  More to come.