From High Brow Pirate to Hometown Pastor

I needed to add some balance here.  I am never hip to people who pee on my leg and tell me it is raining.  This week, and this entire journey has not all been sunshine and roses.  I am thrilled that there are people opening up to me.  But their wounds are so deep and I know that there are things I want to say that they have heard 100 times.  I need to make these moments count.  I don’t have a magic wand to make it all go away and I do not have all the answers.  The pressure of feeling the pain of others is what I want and need to do, but it is not always easy.  Also, I am me…why do they trust me?  I am painfully aware of my lack of angelic life. 

The calling. We focus so often on the romantic parts of it.  But it is not all that.  When called, you do not become more holy in a heartbeat.  Heck, if you are honest with yourself, you become painfully aware of your failings and shortcomings.  It is that humility and the hurt you may have caused others in the past that sometimes creates doubt.  The challenge is to channel it right.  It is that knowledge of your impoerfection that can allow you to see God’s hand.

Me?  I did not open many of these doors.  But here they are.

Other pastors.  I am a 50/50 mix on this one.  Some think I am a swell guy and God wants this to happen.  The others think I am a heretic.  On both sides they do not completely get this vision.  I’m still human and the latter hurts sometimes.  But most of the time, the good accolade outweighs and the ones who DO stand in my corner…I look at how they conduct themselves and how they love and I juxtapose that with the ones who disagree.  I used to be those guys…the good ones, however…I could ask for no better partners, mentors, or friends.

So yeah, I am scared.  I have doubt and fears.  But I am working through them as best I can.  

This blog, for instance.  I do not know who is reading it all the time, but this blog is one of the most honest things I have ever done.  I’m not trying to pontificate, know it all, or impress…I am just here.