First Core Meeting
So, I will start with the good and then get into the lesson and the progress.
I had 3 people show up for my first ‘core’ meeting. A young couple and a great guy who is divorced.
I had a lot of people call to cancel in the last hour. It was all excuses and last minute events…but one laid her cards on the table. She called me to say, "I love talking to you about Jesus and stuff, but sitting in a room of people I do not know is just too much. You say the wrong thing or do not know something and some asshole shuts you down and gets self righteous. I think what you’re doing is gonna be different, I don’t want to be wrong. I’m afraid."
I then had to handle the people I had come.The young man of the couple was there for the ride and not really a God type. The girl is young. She moved from pentecostal youth group to youth group from 13 till 17. She would change the way she dressed and acted and music she listened to to belong. Then, if she colored outside the lines…she would be cut off. Having me say to her…you dress how you want, listen to the music you like, and be you and help me figure out what this looks like…she was like,"Really? Me? Honest?" During the chat her boyfriend started getting interested. He asked…"Well, what could someone like me do?" He is a handyman. I asked, "If I knew a single mom with a broken sink or bad brakes…could you fix it if you had some time and would you be willing?" He said."Yeah, that would be great! I do that kinda stuff already. So that’s ministry?" He got excited.
The single dad. He echoed the single mom who called me. He was kinda like this. "Dude, ever since I got divorced I get treated different in church. It is all couples and how to have better marriages and I am token single guy. Sometimes I go to a church and there are ‘ministries’ that help me be comfortable with my singleness. They make it sound like I am living with diabetes and I am second class. I love what you wrote about the church. I love listening you talk. This is what church should be…you think this could happen?" I asked if he wanted to make it happen..he said he does not know all the Bible verses and stuff and most of what he knows about the bible comes from movies and sermons that were not boring. But he would like to know more. I said…cool, your qualified for this journey.
They all left feeling like they got to see me more vulnerable. They got to feel like this could be for real.
Now the lesson continues. They left at 9. From 9-1:30 am I was on the phone with others. I called up the cancel people and asked them if they blew it off because they were scared. All but one said yes.
I am hitting the group I wanted. The wounded…the ones hurt by the church. Their wounds are deep and they have become spiritually introverted over it. They go to churches and feel like second class citizens. They try to change exteriors to blend in and as soon as their interior shows…they are shunned. Divorced have a hard time feeling welcome in the church and get called to help in nursery and watch kids for married ministries. Where are their nights off? None of these married moms are reaching out for friendship with them. They have been beaten so hard they are afraid of other Christians. They hang in because they got enough to think there is more to God and they want a community in that. And do not get me started about the shunning for people without kids!!!
They trust me, but they are still afraid. They wanna take part, but they cannot believe I am telling them they are worthy because this is their greatest dream…but it has NEVER been a reality.
For now…I think it is best to meet them on their comfort zone for coffee and slowly get them introduced to others on their terms. They want this and they want it now…but a service is less intimidating to this. They want a church..as in a place on sunday…but they want that to be church..as in all of us together. They are scared. For whatever reason, they trust me. I am beginning to see how deep their hurts are and I am also seeing that God has called me to do something that is very weighty and serious.
If we are going to go with the Shepard analogy…I got sheep without a pen that have been beaten and broken and need serious vet care. Have you ever had a stray dog? You can tell it has been abused if it cowers when you stand over it. It is sad to see and refreshing when the raggedy mutt moves past that and you can play wrestle on the rug! But it takes time.
My core will be tiny…but right now I am ministering to people. Tonight I broke through their hurts.
They feel like second class citizens in church. They have other communities…but they keep trying to come back to this co Dependant abusive relationship called church because they know there is something else beneath the surface.
I know last night showed me something. Nowhere near my expectations….but there was far more to be learned last night. Now it is time to mull it over
So there.
