Common Directions
As I have said, there are two people who were instrumental in my recovery and my life. One of them is named Dennis. Dennis is a priest. He went on a sabbatical after 20 years as a priest. He got a nice apartment, nice job, and has found himself to be pretty miserable away from the priesthood.
He and I have compared notes. At almost simultaneous moments we began to both realize that we were called into the ministry. Let’s be honest, we always knew, but neither one of us really wanted to embrace or accept it. See, there are many who are called who get burnt out and stop caring. Then you have men like Dennis and I. Part of our problem stems from the loneliness inherent in the calling and the lack of people in our respected peer groups who see things the way we do.
Mixed emotions are shared. Like Moses standing in front of the burning bush…two men sat over mojitos one night and made the same request. "Why can’t he pick someone else?" This is hard to explain. Most people search for meaning and purpose in their lives, to be called by God to represent Him is exciting…but at the same time, it is scary. Let me give you an example. When I stand at an alter or council someone, I am telling them what God’s will is in general terms and sometimes…specific to their lives and their situation. If I am wrong….I have sent someone down a horrible path. If I am wrong and I am using God’s name…God may take issue with that. It is a heavy responsibility.
Both of us have accepted our roads and we know what we need to do. He returns this summer as a priest and I return this fall as a pastor. I suspect our roads crossed so we could run parallel for a few decades. We shall see. All I know is this…without the blatent honesty we can share, I think we would both be less comfortable with our paths.
You are a professional and when making decisions you will at times have the thought “what if I am wrong”. This thought will be present in your first important decision and will occur decreasingly as you progress. The Doctor has the same fears when advising a patient, the Engineer has this fear when signing of the design of a bridge. Thoughts of being incorrect can impair so control them as much as possible is the advice of an old veteran of decision making.
I have the opinion that you are but an ambassador doing your best. Your advice is not God’s advice but your interpretation of what God’s advice would be.
Eric T
Comment by Eric T Smith — March 8, 2008 @ 3:36 pm