From High Brow Pirate to Hometown Pastor

What drives the men who lead Christian Life College?

Since 1950, this little Bible College has been plugging away.  The numbers have never been large.  The tuition has not been very expensive.

I have been here in 1990 and now in 2008.  The faces are the same.  Harry, Wayne, Fred, Leanne, Luanne, and others.  Sure there are some new faces too.  Some things are the same and some are different.  My perspective is different and that may change the perception.

Administratively the school may be run better.  But that is not really the point, is it.  The point is training men and women to be ready for ministry.  There is no magic formula for that.  There is only the calling.  The calling to ministry and the calling to train ministers.

They must know the responsibility that God has entrusted to them.  They, like the rest of us, may not be perfect, but I as I look at the students adn myself…I realize they are doing a heck of a good job.  

I’ve got respect for them and the work that they do.  The fruit of their efforts and the fruit of their willingness to serve lay in each and every graduate.  

 Okay, done with the random thought.  Time for bed.

I am not sure how to describe my Easter Weekend and I keep on trying and I keep on deleting. So I am just gonna hammer it out and let the chips fall where they may. As some of you know I am both a teacher and a student at the Bible college I quit in 1991.

Every year for over 20 years the College sponsors an event called Ascension Convention. To save keystrokes I will call it AC and the school CLC. AC happens every Easter weekend. It used to be the largest teen youth convention in the midwest and one of the largest in the US. Even now it carries over 1400 kids in one unsuspecting hotel near Chicago.

They bring in Christian guest speakers and bands from around the country. There is usually one music group that gets Christian radio play and two keynote speakers. Then other speakers are brought in more locally for what they call breakout sessions. Those are topical sessions in which the kids get to choose which room they want to go to to hear a topic. This will be important later.

The students help set up, tear down, run the college booth where we sell drinks and snacks a kid friendly price unlike the hotel selling $4 waters we sell em for a buck. We also have t shirts, those rubber bracelets. Other vendors are there selling silly glasses that light up, pretty cool t shirts and hoodies, and if the speaker write a book or the band has CD’s and t shirts to sell…they have booths too. All in all, typical convention trappings.

This year the students also had skits on the main stage and some of the students have their own worship band which I would honestly put up against any of these chumps you hear on the radio. I think the fact they mean it helps to.

Friday at the convention I was working registration. We had 4 "holding pens". The youth pastor would be at registration settling bills and getting hotel rooms. The kids would come into one of four rooms. If they were in mine they would pop thier gear in a corner and I would ask them to fill out a form, hand them the program show them the important stuff on the map and explain the rules. Then I would let them be kids and release the pent up energy that happens when you are stuck in a van for 3-10 hours. Anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour later the youth leader would come in and take the kids to the room.

I decided to be the last room to close. Most of the other rooms were student run and we had a hall reserved for hot dogs and coke and whatnot for the kids that closed at seven. As some groups pushed the wire I would let them leave the bags in my room so they would not miss their chance at a dinner. Hey, I can afford a $20 burger and coke later in the hotel. I got some students to kidnap my seven year old and make sure she got fed. My little one is pretty popular with the students. May have something to do with the fact that she is precocious with a capital P.

Anyway, from there we did the evening concert with the guest band and one of the keynote speakers. Sessions ended about 10:30 with curfew at 11:30. Myself and a student took a floor and had an uneventful night that lasted till two am.

The next day, was all the stuff of kids going to one room or another for this band or this speaker…but them comes the main session before the breakout sessions. I got to split a session with a student. One of my students in a professional video game reviewer. So he was doing video games and I was doing myspace and facebook. Our approach was simple. Myspace, Facebook, and games are not gonna send you to hell. Secular does not equal evil…just make good choices.

The other speakers had fancy video intros with slick music as they told the kids what they would be talking about. We just went up and said who we were and what we were gonna speak about. No lie. Our room was standing room only and they had to turn kids away..something to be said about no flash and a simple message. I started with my view on social networking sites and youth. As a kid you are expressing yourself, trying to meet others who have similar interests, and sharing with each other. This is natural and healthy. Then I talk about common sense in choosing privacy settings and why this is important. Then I talked about how, though rare, cyber bullying and predators do exist and how one performs social engineering to pretend to your buddy. When I spoke on sexual predators I saw two girls and one boy near tears and I knew I was looking at the faces of victims. I have seen those faces before. I wanted to stop everything and just hold them and let them cry and somehow restore their value.

When the session ended my intent was to go to them and talk to them. I was intercepted by kids, a youth pastor, and a mom with questions. When I was done they were gone. Their faces are forever burned in my retinas. Everytime I was out among the kids I kept an eye out for them.

During the evening session, the main speaker had all the pastors line up in front of the stage. Typical. But then he said something that got me off guard. He said that the first group of people he wanted to come up were girls. He said statistically many of the girls were victims of molestation and we wanted them to come up. He said in the following moments everything I would have wanted to say to them. I saw about 40 or 50 girls come up and I walked the back of the auditorium to see them. I saw the girls. Both of them getting to cry and get the hugs they needed. I wish I could tell you I saw the young man and though I don’t know his name or what town he is from, he will be in my prayers for as long as I am me. I hope he got the hug and the first step towards healing that horrible wound.

After the event I had to go to the booth and pass out water. I had several students and two moms thank me so sincerely for my session and it moved me and it was all I could do to hold my composure and keep selling water.

Now for the final thought that I CANNOT leave out. The students did a skit. In the original version they had a girl who was a cutter and tries to put a gun to her head. The school admin had the cutting and gun removed and the students knew the skit was right the way it was. They fought for the cutting and the gun, but a few days before the AC they were told it was over. Well, in day two of the AC one student made one final pitch with guns blazing and pulled no punches. The skit went as originally intended. It was honestly one of the most powerful moments in the AC. They stood their ground for principle and they won. I am proud to have worked with them and assisted them. I tried to make myself a servent to the student leadership. It was amazing.

This new breed of future minister have more character, heart, compassion, and love in them than the student body I was with ever did. We could not hold a candle to them. We were products of the best evangelical cookie cutter had to offer, they are the best Jesus has to offer. At the rate the American church is going, they may be the last hope.

They rock. And y’know what? If every speakers flight got delayed and the band’s bus broke…I believe that the students could have done this convention without all those trappings because this year…they were the foundation that God used to touch lives…not the big names.

I have decided not to respond to comments.  I appreciate all the comments from others.  I really do.  But, in the blogs, I have said my peace and I would rather let you get the last word in. So, fell free to comment.  If you wish to have a 2 way conversation on an entry..say so in your comment and I will reply.  But I will only reply when asked to.  Just know I appreciate the comments. 

One night in late 2006, I could not sleep. I was flipping through the channels and rested on the Sundance channel.  They were airing a mini series documentary called "One Punk Under God".

For those who don’t know, OPUG is the story of Jay Bakker (son of Jim Bakker and Tammie Faye-RIP).  In the episodes you see the path of his church in Atlanta (Revolution Church) that met in a bar to start another Revolution  in NYC while passing the torch of Revolution Atlanta to a dear friend, and mentor, Stu.  There is a lot more to the story and it is definitely worth checking out on Sundance or putting on your Netflix wish list. 

I knew none of this as I started watching halfway through an episode.  All I knew was this guy named Jay was running a church out of a bar.  He had tats, smoked cigars, had earrings, a wife who was refreshingly NOT a typical pastor’s wife, and real people with real hurts in his church being reached with a message of grace and love.  I was captured and, though suffering from some culture shock, I was seeing many aspects of what Christianity could be and should be.  Towards the end of this episode I realized who he was.  HOLY #^#%!!!  The Bakker kid is a preacher and doing some really cool things in a bar?!?!?!  I put the show on my Tivo favorites and started stepping into the world of Revolution and the life of Jay and company.  

Though I do not agree with Jay point for point on everything, I am hip to the core of his idea.  In one episode, I saw Jay Bakker’s biz manager guy, Marc Brown modding a forum.  This was too good an opportunity.  I could meet other people intrigued by the show, the church, and the message.  I logged on and started a life changing experience. 

I found the web forum at http://board.revolutionchurch.com to be difficult.  There was a clash of cultures going on.  There were people who were members of Revolution church, people impacted by the show, and others who were there to be antagonistic and represent the worse stereotypes that right wing evangelical Christianity has to offer.  Then you had some people who were just jerks.  There was also a matter of SPAM.  There were porn posts and other disruptive spam that was literally happening in excess of 40 posts per day.

 Something tugged at my heart.  The show had impacted me and I wanted so much to interact with these people, but the forum was a mess.  I logged off after a few days of checking it out…and then I prayed.  At this point in my life…I really did not pray a lot.  The next day, feeling pretty stupid.  I sent a private message to Marc Brown of Revolution.  I introduced myself…told him a little of my IT and forum moderation experience and offered to assist with removal of the spam.  He did not know me from Adam, but he gave me what is called moderator permissions which allows me to delete and adjust posts.

In many ways I felt I had my finger in the dam trying to stem the flood of spam.  I would spend hours upon hours removing spam, tracking IP’s of spammers, and reporting tracked IP’s to Marc and the ISP’s and hosting services of the spammers.  I did this just to have brief opportunities to make friends with the people in the forums.  Share with them, debate with them…and mostly to learn from them.  The more I grew to love these people and appreciate the friendships, the more driven I was to clean up the spam permanently.  

 
In short time, two other members of the forum joined forces with me to aid in the spam clean up.  Then came the day the direction changed.  On the tv show, Jay Bakker decided that it was time for his church to publically recognize the gay Christian community.  Agree or disagree is not the point of this entry.  The point is that a move like that on national television is going to draw attention.  Most people on the forums entered the discussion about this move politely and with respect.  However, a vocal minority really did their best to create division in the community.  There was one person who is prominant figure in the anti gay community in southern california.  He has even been featured on more than one occasion on the 700 Club.  He was kinda a big deal in some circles.  He was not only abusive to a gay member in the forums, but revealed personal contact information about this person in the forums.  Phone number, personal email, etc.  I could not ignore this.  I removed the information immediately, instructed him not to do this again and told Marc what had happened.  I also advised Marc that anyone who does this needs to be removed.  They are putting that person at risk for harassment and possible harm.  Marc agreed and gave the person an opportunity to apologize.  The person refused.  

After that incident, someone in the forums sent me a link to a gay news blog in which Marc Brown and I were hailed as heroes for shutting this person down.  I was amused.  However, now came the follow up.  Over the following weeks several members were sending me private messages telling me about people who were hurting them in the forums.  Personal attacks, threats.  Just really bad stuff. 

I could not ignore the cry of the hurting.  Jay and his staff put their careers on the line for principle.  I decided to to stand for principle and take some heat.  I reported people who were repetitively hurtful to Marc and he had to do something he did not like doing…remove people from the forums.  In this time I learned some lessons.  In some cases I did not do enough, in other cases I took "enforcement" to far.  During this time, there were many who got so upset and left.  I did the best I could and I prayed all the time.  I have faced some harsh criticism and received some wonderful accolade for the help I have given.  I miss some of the people there and I hope to see them return now that the hoopla has receded.  We are slowly getting some wonderful new people on the forum and it is so refreshing to see.

What is this story about?  Well, it is about being challenged, changed, hearing God’s call, and knowing you are doing God’s will.  However, even when doing God’s will, you will make errors.  Sometimes you will do everything right and STILL get crap and BS accusations leveled at you.  You do the best you can.  You try to make right what you screwed up, and you keep on moving forward.  

The friends I made there mean more to me than any forum I have ever been a part of.  We have shared joys, sorrows, prayer requests, fears, joys, secrets, and our hearts.  We continue to do so.  Some of these friends I have spoken with on the phone and others I will be meeting soon.   The friends I have made there have supported me, encouraged me, challenged me, and changed me.

I lot of what you will see one day on a pew and in ministry action is from lessons and inspirations seeped in my lessons of the Revolution forums and a documentary.   

In  Assignment to Calling I spoke of the Leadership assignment leading to the first draft of what is going to be a living and breathing ministry.  When I was done with it, I showed it to a friend of mine named Fran.  Fran and I were freshmen at Bible College together. He was older than me (still is), married, and had 2 kids.  He also had already worked in the ministry.  He and I became fast friends.  After Bible College he did start a church in 1994 and I stayed with him on the project from day 1 until 1998.  My leaving was not pretty and it put a strain on our friendship.  We would talk awkwardly once every other year or so.  2007 was a verbose year.  We had lunch together twice and exchange 3 emails.  Some of them exceeded a paragraph. 

Well, after I put this together, it just felt right to talk to him.  So I did.  I showed it to him over lunch.  He told me his church has a planting team and he thought it would be fun if we did a q&a time.  Hey!  Why not?  I show them my plan, they ask questions.  We have an intellectually stimulating time.

It was a good time.  What I did not realize was that this would be the first step into building what will be an essential relationship.  Fran’s church is not your typical church.  If most churches closed down, other than a few parishioners, no one would notice.  They help run a food pantry for the poor, they are helping Haiti one village at a time, they sometimes have special offerings to pay someone’s mortgage.  They are here to make an impact on people’s lives because they care, not to fulfill a religious obligation or to hook people into the church. 

This first step has given me (though I have not really said it in so many words) a mentor and his church has given me an example and a group of friends.  Our visions are so close it is spooky and it is my belief that God put us in our paths at this time for a reason.  I think they feel the same way.  Not sure.  All I know is I have appreciated their time and support so far…and as an individual…if not for Fran, I would have packed this in and given up to be a waiter at Denny’s writing this experience off as a fantasy from a man who had a heart attack seeking an epiphany in a void of meaningless quests.  

Having friends, partners, and advisors is essential and it is not something a lot of people get in journeys such as these.  I am grateful for what they have done and will do and I have no idea what that is.  I am not really asking for anything, so anything really rocks!! 

As I have said, there are two people who were instrumental in my recovery and my life.  One of them is named Dennis.  Dennis is a priest.  He went on a sabbatical after 20 years as a priest.  He got a nice apartment, nice job, and has found himself to be pretty miserable away from the priesthood. 

 He and I have compared notes.  At almost simultaneous moments we began to both realize that we were called into the ministry.  Let’s be honest, we always knew, but neither one of us really wanted to embrace or accept it.  See, there are many who are called who get burnt out and stop caring.  Then you have men like Dennis and I.  Part of our problem stems from the loneliness inherent in the calling and the lack of people in our respected peer groups who see things the way we do. 

 Mixed emotions are shared.  Like Moses standing in front of the burning bush…two men sat over mojitos one night and made the same request.  "Why can’t he pick someone else?"  This is hard to explain.  Most people search for meaning and purpose in their lives, to be called by God to represent Him is exciting…but at the same time, it is scary.  Let me give you an example.  When I stand at an alter or council someone, I am telling them what God’s will is in general terms and sometimes…specific to their lives and their situation.  If I am wrong….I have sent someone down a horrible path.  If I am wrong and I am using God’s name…God may take issue with that.  It is a heavy responsibility.  

 Both of us have accepted our roads and we know what we need to do.  He returns this summer as a priest and I return this fall as a pastor.  I suspect our roads crossed so we could run parallel for a few decades.  We shall see.  All I know is this…without the blatent honesty we can share, I think we would both be less comfortable with our paths.